WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You're completely useless in the revolution.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
