My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
