Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
