I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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