i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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