ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
