I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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