I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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