a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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