Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
