I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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