woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
