I wish I could teleport
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
