This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
