it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
