I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
