you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
