Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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