are you still at the devil's house?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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