WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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