turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
