My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
