Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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