Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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