I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
