so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
