Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
