Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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