Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
