So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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