Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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