It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Where did you get a picture of my penis
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize