Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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