i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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