marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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