Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
one might say we're banned from that church
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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