I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
