Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
