the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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