we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
