You're my little dorito
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
