My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
There are leaves in my underwear?
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