AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
