3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
