What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
