She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
