We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
