none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
