i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
