Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
