I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Of course I have a pirate flag
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
