omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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