this boner is exhausting
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
