Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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