Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???

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(210): View more from Texas

he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me

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(561): View more from Florida

She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.

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(240): View more from Maryland

I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...

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(360): View more from Washington

Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.

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(850): View more from Florida

He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...

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