Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
