I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
