Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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