just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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