A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
