I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
