She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
